Diary of a Young Pastor

The things they never taught you at school…

Much has happened in the last week. Some encouraging, and others that have proven very frustrating. Thanks to all my mentors for your advice and encouragement in it all - I’m very thankful for the time that you invest in me.

On to the details

Fiery Words

First up – Hate Mail! Yes, it’s that wonderful time in a pastor’s career when he receives his first piece of Hate Mail. And, for me, that first was last week. For the privacy of all those involved, excluding myself, names have been withheld.

Here’s the deal. The eldest son in this family is a first year student at the local high school. Last fall, after the semester began, we began receiving early morning doorbell chimes when this young man would miss the bus.

Allow me to interrupt myself for a moment and share a few details. I hold no anger or bad will against this young man. In fact, I feel awful that things happened the way they did. This young man has to get up every morning, make sure that his siblings are ready for school, and get to school himself. I can understand the fact that there are times that the bus is missed! Hey, I missed a few classes in my day….(Sorry Dr. Black…).
My “beef” as it may be called, is with Mom and Dad.

Back to the story – we were getting early morning ring-a-ling-a-ding-dongs because the young man needed a ride to school. This would happen occasionally, and I was always happy to help (it is the pastor-ly thing to do, right?). But of the last 9 school days, the doorbell was rung 5 times.

I had been thinking about this situation for quite a while (even getting some advice from good ol’ mom and dad), and decided that it was time to confront the parents about what was going on. Issues that needed to be faced:

1st – we were never asked if it would be ok with us if the young man ride along

2nd – they have a car. It’s time to get out of bed and share the load

So, after driving back from the school, I made my way over to the mobile home and knocked on the door. Dad answered. The following is a ‘paraphrase’:

“Hi,” I said.
“What’s going on?” – Dad
“Well, your son has been over to the house 5 out of the last 9 days to get a ride to school.” – Me
“Really?” – Dad
“Yeah, I think it’s starting to get out of hand. We need to get this worked out. Maybe it’s time that you started taking him to school.” – Me
“I don’t know why he keeps on missing the bus.” – Dad
“Well, I think my time of taking him to school should be over. First, he’s not my son and Second, it’s not the cheapest thing to be doing every day.”
“I know.” – Dad
“So, it’s taken care of?” – Me
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.” – Dad

I’m not a fan of confrontation. I don’t like it much at all. But, after that conversation, I thought things really went well!

Afternoon of visits, an attempted blood donation and grocery shopping and I was back at home. Ashlee was home too, and we were sitting in the Den. The doorbell rang. I went to see who it was – the young man from across the street.

“What happened this afternoon,” he asked.
“I pretty much told your dad that he needed to take a little more responsibility.”

“Oh, well, he’s pretty mad. He wanted me to give you this.”

At this point, I stopped him and said, “Listen, I’m not mad at you. I’ve missed my alarm clock before. I understand. This whole thing is between me and Dad, and if there is ever a time that you cannot get to school, I’ll give you a ride. School is important!”

“I know. I’m not mad at you either.”

“Ok. Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. I’ll talk with you later,” I said as I patted this kid on the back. Then I came inside to read what I had been handed – which I have reproduced for you. Warning - mild language:

Click for Large Version

Apparently, things didn’t go as well as I thought they did. I called my dad. “Hey son,” he said.

“Dad, I got my first piece of hate mail today.”

“Son,” he replied, “It won’t be your last.”

And so, I really don’t know what the future holds in this situation. From what I understand this isn’t the first time these folks have been angry at the pastor. I’m sure that everything will turn out fine. I’m praying for “Dad” and his family often with the hopes that one day they will be in church – as faithful to God as they can be.

But that’s enough about that situation. On to….

Fire Departments

On a good note, I found out that I was elected to the position of Chaplain of the Brendeltown (Our community) Fire Department. This is a great honor for me! I will get a pager that will notify me of fires and other accidents in our area, and I’ll be able to go out to the call and minister to the people involved. What a wonderful opportunity!

I’ve really been hoping that this opportunity would open up for me. I jokingly asked a couple of the men in our church who are also firefighters if my title could be, “Chief of Chaplains”. That sounds more fiery, doesn’t it? Maybe I can get some flashy lights on my truck too….

~Pastor Matt

A rough day.

Sometimes it feels like what you try and do just falls apart.

Well, my “try and do” has “fallen apart”.

I always try to emphasize the fact that our lives should be lived in order to please God, and only God.

One final word, friends. We ask you—urge is more like it—that you keep on doing what we told you to do to please God, not in a dogged religious plod, but in a living, spirited dance.

I say over and over again that we will never be able to please everyone. In our human-imperfection, we can’t please each other all of the time. We will fail. Someone will get hurt.

Obviously, I’m not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.

Friends, we are not yes-men. We cannot please everyone.

What does this mean then? Are we to stop trying to help people, or begin to isolate ourselves to just us and God?

No, I don’t think so. We should do everything that we can to be a servant. We should do everything we can to be Christ to everyone.

But, first of all, we must make sure that our lives are pleasing to God. Before you please others, please Him in your heart of hearts.

So, maybe that’s it. Have I been trying to hard to please others? Is my mindset on pleasing God first?

Ashamed I say, no. It hasn’t been. And so, my attempts at pleasing others have become idolatry. I am more concerned about pleasing them, than Him.

A call for change: Please Him before them. The “them” will fall into place after Him.

~Pastor Matt